And now the story:
Ah, the classic board game Monopoly. A game of capitalism and cutthroat. Loads of fun until you cut your own throat.
Icy weather has confined many Oklahomans to their houses this evening. And I'm sure I wasn't the only one to look in the closet for some entertainment. The idea was sound enough, snuggle up by the fire and entertain each other...wholesomely, or so I thought.
I started right out the gate buying everything I landed on. I was even mortgaging to buy even more property. The One wasn't as forward in her progress as she wasn't landing on anything to buy. No, instead her luck had to be landing on the Free Space eight gazillion times. (For those who might not play that way, we played it where that space has at least $500 dollars to it's name.) My luck in buying places landed me no where near Free Space. My more illustrious spot on the board was Income Tax. Killing all hope I had of undoing what I had done to myself.
Luckily I still had her right where I wanted her. Dead to rights. She had three railroads and a mingling of other properties but none that completed a set. I had, on the other hand, every other spot on the board; completing several sets for my own bidding. Even though she had built of quite the sum of money, it would be my victory at hand. Albeit a slow and boring victory.
There wasn't a way I could lose as long as I just stayed the course and chipped away at her funds. She knew this as well as I. I had three times as much property and was the only one who could build. This is where it turned ugly.
The One is not used to losing. She always gets her way. She frowned, pouted and even tried quiting the game. I wouldn't let her. This led to her being on her stomach in full tantrum. Still I wouldn't budge. Then came the phone call to her mother to further throw guilt upon my shoulders that I should let her win. Again The One wished to quit and I refused to let her.
Instead I broke.
She offered a trade of silly proportions that I laughed off. My counter offers were equally skewed my way as hers were to her and just as well declined. Then came my mistake. I decided to throw her a bone that I knew would be much more risk than reward but I was in a gambling mood.
At this point The One still had a bundle of cash at hand. So much in fact that when I was foolish enough to trade her into three sets and I two, she was able to instantly build hotels on two of the sets and still have enough to almost complete the third. One of those sets was THE most expensive on the board. I on the other hand did not have enough cash yet to even build on what property I already had.
It was then that I realized that I was going to need some Lady Luck to get me past the trap I set for myself. Lady Luck is sexist. The dice rolled in The One's favor not only on my turn but on hers. As I land on Park Place (hers) she lands on yet another Free Space where most of my money has gone. $1500 dollars that I only had two hundred on hand. Selling what little houses I had bought and then putting a mortgage on half my properties covered what seemed to be insurmountable.
I knew it when she dumped the hotels and I felt it when I shelled out the cash. I was done for. The game that was mine to lose, I lost. When all I had to do was wait it out and whittle her away I didn't even give myself a shot. Instead I crumbled to that adorable pouting face and ended up pouting myself.
I called her mother and asked for a receipt. Apparently I didn't read the label, The One is non-refundable.
I would not have it any other way.
Oh yeah, my lessons:
1. When the opponent throws the white flag, shake hands and walk away. Their isn't a reason to tout your yet-to-be won victory.
2. When you are ahead with no way of losing don't stub your toe. Remember even when you have such an advantage YOU can still mess yourself up.
3. Don't play a game with a woman you can't stand to see pout.
Until tomorrow, may you have smiled, laughed or groaned at the nonsense above.
Icy weather has confined many Oklahomans to their houses this evening. And I'm sure I wasn't the only one to look in the closet for some entertainment. The idea was sound enough, snuggle up by the fire and entertain each other...wholesomely, or so I thought.
I started right out the gate buying everything I landed on. I was even mortgaging to buy even more property. The One wasn't as forward in her progress as she wasn't landing on anything to buy. No, instead her luck had to be landing on the Free Space eight gazillion times. (For those who might not play that way, we played it where that space has at least $500 dollars to it's name.) My luck in buying places landed me no where near Free Space. My more illustrious spot on the board was Income Tax. Killing all hope I had of undoing what I had done to myself.
Luckily I still had her right where I wanted her. Dead to rights. She had three railroads and a mingling of other properties but none that completed a set. I had, on the other hand, every other spot on the board; completing several sets for my own bidding. Even though she had built of quite the sum of money, it would be my victory at hand. Albeit a slow and boring victory.
There wasn't a way I could lose as long as I just stayed the course and chipped away at her funds. She knew this as well as I. I had three times as much property and was the only one who could build. This is where it turned ugly.
The One is not used to losing. She always gets her way. She frowned, pouted and even tried quiting the game. I wouldn't let her. This led to her being on her stomach in full tantrum. Still I wouldn't budge. Then came the phone call to her mother to further throw guilt upon my shoulders that I should let her win. Again The One wished to quit and I refused to let her.
Instead I broke.
She offered a trade of silly proportions that I laughed off. My counter offers were equally skewed my way as hers were to her and just as well declined. Then came my mistake. I decided to throw her a bone that I knew would be much more risk than reward but I was in a gambling mood.
At this point The One still had a bundle of cash at hand. So much in fact that when I was foolish enough to trade her into three sets and I two, she was able to instantly build hotels on two of the sets and still have enough to almost complete the third. One of those sets was THE most expensive on the board. I on the other hand did not have enough cash yet to even build on what property I already had.
It was then that I realized that I was going to need some Lady Luck to get me past the trap I set for myself. Lady Luck is sexist. The dice rolled in The One's favor not only on my turn but on hers. As I land on Park Place (hers) she lands on yet another Free Space where most of my money has gone. $1500 dollars that I only had two hundred on hand. Selling what little houses I had bought and then putting a mortgage on half my properties covered what seemed to be insurmountable.
I knew it when she dumped the hotels and I felt it when I shelled out the cash. I was done for. The game that was mine to lose, I lost. When all I had to do was wait it out and whittle her away I didn't even give myself a shot. Instead I crumbled to that adorable pouting face and ended up pouting myself.
I called her mother and asked for a receipt. Apparently I didn't read the label, The One is non-refundable.
I would not have it any other way.
Oh yeah, my lessons:
1. When the opponent throws the white flag, shake hands and walk away. Their isn't a reason to tout your yet-to-be won victory.
2. When you are ahead with no way of losing don't stub your toe. Remember even when you have such an advantage YOU can still mess yourself up.
3. Don't play a game with a woman you can't stand to see pout.
Until tomorrow, may you have smiled, laughed or groaned at the nonsense above.
Skate
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