Skate: Origins

I believe that a person can learn a lot about someone just by finding out where they are from, what they have gone through, how they handle situations, and where they want to be. I have talked a great deal about some future options I was looking at. What I have not provided was some form of background. This will not be an in depth look at the man behind the blog, but it will be a start.

I was born in central Oklahoma. My family would live there for another nine years and grow twice more in that span. By the time we moved I was finding trouble for my older brother and I, usually involving pushing my younger brother into things that would get us in trouble, and getting blamed for all the trouble my little sister caused. We were a military family and moved abroad. I lived in Northern Japan, Western Germany and traveled through and to a few places. My JDad would retire and we would move to Iowa where Mom had family that we were hoping to get support from as we transitioned into a new life.

It was not an easy transition. After a month in a hotel, we were taken in by one of my Uncles until we were able to secure an apartment. My JDad had found a job that was thirty minutes North of where we were. We eventually found a house and moved as my junior year in high school ended. It was in that house that a seemingly normal family would change. One morning my brothers and sister were told that our parents would be separating. I dare not explain motives of either parent; their relationship is between them and I will keep it that way.

The ongoing separation between the two of them left an obvious stain on the rest of the family. But that was only the beginning of change. Mom came home one mid-December evening from a social outing. I had friends over and one was planning to stay the night. While one friend took another friend home and the house was left empty to Mom and me, she told me I had another dad. At first I did not understand. She went on to tell me about the first time her and JDad were separated. How those times were hard and she found comfort in another man, and that man was my father.

I did not have much time to process this, as my friend was going to return. I shed a few tears and put this information aside until I could better grasp the idea. Unfortunately that time would come and it would not be any easier to understand. Mom had made an offhand remark regarding my situation at our New Year's Eve party that year. The room was awfully quiet with puzzled faces looking to Mom and me for answers. I ran from the room as Mom explained it to the crowd. I was young, my parents were separated and I had no idea how to handle this.

At first, my reaction was simply that my life had been a lie. I went through all my memories to see if I could figure out where I would have guessed that this was the truth along. I remembered a biology class that we were learning about blood types and how likely it was for you to have a certain one. I remember asking JDad what blood type he was; I was told that he was a certain blood type that would allow my blood type to make sense. JDad knew from the beginning that I was not his. Worse yet, BDad knew I was his. BDad went my whole life not being apart of it; not because he did not want to be, but he understood that was the way it should be.

Once I was able to grasp the situation, I embraced the newfound family. Not only was I adding BDad, I was adding another sister. I wanted to meet them and get to know them. I invited them out to my graduation and much to my delight they came. I have been able to visit them once since then. While it may be confusing to have family added so late in life and in such a manner, I did not see the point in not including them in my life. They are as much a part of me as the family I grew up with. I consider all my siblings full blood despite what science says. I consider both my fathers to be my dads. Their names here are their first initial of their first name and Dad, that is what they are to me.

This is only a portion of this story, not nearly going in depth as much as I could; it is just enough for you to understand a little more about me. Unfortunately you miss out on my version where I use my hand as the story basis with each child represented as a finger. It is rather quite a delight to tell when I do. Most times I really do not see it as a necessity. I simply have a mom, two dads, two brothers and sisters. I would not want it any other way. I love my family, each and every one of them, no less than the other.

~Skate